Don't Be Jealous, Be Inspired.

Everyone has used the casual expression "I'm so jealous" when they see someone they know with something they want. Most people can relate to the pangs of jealousy that arise when you see someone else living it up and looking fabulous on social media. Jealousy can be a tough emotion, it is not a good feeling, no one wants to be jealous. Jealousy stems from a place of feeling insufficient because we feel we are not living up to our own seemingly impossible expectations. This is why a light bulb went on for me the first time I heard my dear friend respond to an "Im so jealous" with a, "Don't be jealous be inspired." I have since heard him say this a million times, you wouldn't believe how many things people can be jealous of... lol. And each time he says it, I continue to be inspired by those words.

When I asked my friend Neil Lequia if I could use his quote for the title of my blog post  he got very excited and told me that his friend Tiffany Marie had already made a meme of his quote. 

Neil Lequia is truly an inspirational human being, he has done so much to inspire and lead the gay community, creating acceptance and safe spaces for LGBTQ people wherever he goes. He has also been a ray of sunshine in my life, he held my hand through some of my most challenging life  moments. He was also the original inspiration for this blog. Thanks Neily, I love you!

If you have read my previous blog posts, such as, How Fashion and Thriftshops Helped Me Break The Cycle of Abuse, you will know that I am not afraid to open up... since the main topic was jealousy, I figured my post needed a side of honesty today. 

I am sure you all know that Halsey song, "Im Bad at Love" Well that is totally my jam. I am a woman who has been cheated on a numerous amount of times. If you can relate to me personally I am deeply sorry for the pain you have endured. If you have not had the pleasure of being cheated  on then you must rely on the movie depictions and my declaration to understand the level of  insufficient it makes you feel. If you are lucky enough to relate, you truly know what it means to be jealous and how badly that emotion can hurt. I will always be grateful for these painful life experiences, because in learning how to handle the emotional pain I learned about self love, self worth, and self compassion. These vital life skills have helped me release the painful emotions of jealousy, because once you stop comparing yourself to others you are able to see the value in yourself. This makes you feel included in life, rather than the exclusive  feeling of jealousy.

After this intense self discovery, I heard Neil's words, and there was a light bulb brighter than the sun that turned on in my soul. I have now adopted his quote as one of my life principals. Learning to love and honor myself was the key to happiness for me. The more I find the beauty in myself the more I am inspired by the beauty I see in others. Adopting the Life Rule of Don't Be Jealous Be Inspired has opened up a world of joy and wonder that I never knew existed.

Just a few days ago someone liked a photo of mine on instagram and when I clicked on her profile a  beautiful fashionista popped up, Audrey's playful sweaters inspired a shopping trip to Goodwill and a few additions of fun big sweaters to my wardrobe.

 

 

Neil's wise words and inspiring attitude about life has lead me to be more fashionable, as I find inspirational women, every day, every where, in this world around me. As a mom and a childcare specialist, it is exceptionally important for me to model self-love and positive self esteem. You can read more about that on my blog-post, Dress To Impress Yourself.  Complimenting other people on their fashion can be an excellent way to instill a positive body-image in children. As someone who has gained and lost over 100lbs more than once in my short life I think it is especially important to compliment all body types so that children can learn that there is beauty in everyone and not just the stereotypical body image that is demanded of our youth. Anytime I see someone wearing something I like i make a point to tell them. Complimenting others brightens your day, and theirs too, it feels so great to lift other people up instead of comparing ourselves to others and tearing ourselves down.

So I say, the next time you feel that familiar expression creeping to your lips, "Don't be jealous, be inspired" and offer up a compliment instead!